Whatever your feelings on the matter, the economy is trying to reopen, and legal restrictions are loosening. This means my halcyonic quarantine is coming to an end. My volunteer gigs are starting to reopen. Which has meant I’m starting to have to have a schedule outside of work that does not include just going out and digging in my yard.
This transition has been harder on me than the lockdown. Monday, I missed a VERY important meeting I had with the Council where I was to have appeared as the Chair of another committee. There goes my hopes of public service (yeah right). Literally the next day, I got an IM from my supervisor asking if I was going to show for the all office training? Oops. I did manage to be on time for an interview for a new podcast later that night, though the host was late. Here’s the interview, by the way: https://anchor.fm/gary-fox2/episodes/Garland-Pepper-presents-Daisy-Santana-Hickman–Fiber-queen-knitting-spinning-etc-ef04a7?fbclid=IwAR16c1Mgsc19yskKoxvkmh0BZH0fvXaVJ5yjPIYNhb786RVnSNcqxp0bsdY
Wednesday, I had 2 work meetings. I only remembered one, and then I had to take a late lunch because of meeting 1. By some weird quirk of fate, I clocked back in just minutes before my second meeting (which was the one I forgot). Thank goodness for that, since it was a skip level meeting with my boss’ boss’ boss’ boss (yeah, 4 levels up). Thursday’s after work meeting went off without a hitch. Thankfully, no meetings for me to screw up Friday. However, Saturday, as I was going through my emails, I found not one, but two emails from someone trying to interview me about some board work. We’ll see if my response is too late. I haven’t missed feeling like a failure.
And no, putting these things on my phone calendar hasn’t been working, I’ve gotten out of the habit of having my phone with me all the time. Clearly, emails are not currently effective. I’m just going to have to go back to being used to being tethered to my phone and being pulled in a lot of directions. I foresee knitting making a comeback for me. It is a wonderful stress relief.
As I’m personally struggling with this dumbness, the world at large continues to struggle with larger issues, and I find myself expending more mental and emotional resources outside of my home. Gardening, as well as knitting helps with that. While I pull weeds, or move tons (probably not literally) of rock, woodchip, and dirt, I listen to podcasts and alternately learn and think Great Thoughts. As I have to start engaging more outside my home, that time will go away, and I will miss it. But enjoy photos of what I’ve done (mostly) by my lonesome. However, I still have my fiber arts, and they are often portable
One thing I’ve realized during my down time, and solidified in my conversation with Garland, is that knitting gives me the space to respond, rather than react. This was a concept I learned from my first Molly (yoga teacher). Yoga/meditation helps you build your proverbial moat so you have time to respond to stimulus, rather than react. Knitting does that for me. When smoking was a thing, cigarettes did that for the world at large. Think about the old movies/shows. Some groundbreaking thing was said or done, and the person took a drag off the cigarette, buying a few moments, before they responded. We don’t have that anymore. I think a lot of people don’t want that anyway–we are so in need of immediacy. Knitting gives me that, though. I can finish up this row before I respond. Or, I can be so involved I completely missed whatever asinine thing came out of your face.
I haven’t needed that for these last few months.
Please be patient with me as I re-acclimate to “reality”. And thank you, Dear Readers, for your words of encouragement. They really do mean a lot.
One thought on “Re-acclimation”
I can relate to so much of what you are going through. This stay-at-home order is more normal to me than most and I fell into it with ease. I do dread (worry) that I won’t find the transition easy, either. More than anything, I worry my head and heart won’t be in more work. This virus has cemented certain priorities of mine and it will be difficult to bust loose.