Friday Fails and Fixes

More (not so) EZ

Yes, yes, I realize it’s March of 2021. So, lets talk about February of 2020! Specifically, the Knitter’s Almanac. To get you caught up…I have not completed the January project of a highly cabled Aran sweater. February seems a bit more reasonable…baby clothes.

On the left, we have Elizabeth Zimmerman’s glorious plan. The two on the right are what I had done by the end of February 2020. I started by doing the changing pad (the one in the middle), but relatively quickly realized that wasn’t gong to get done, so I decided to see if I could finish the sweater instead. It’s a SUPER quick knit, I just didn’t bail to it until towards the end of the month. So, clearly, no, I could not finish the sweater. Had I *just* done the sweater, then yes, I would have.

Update on this, the pad is a double knit, in that it’s do the border, slip 1, knit 1, then do the other border, turn. All the ones you slipped, you now knit, and the ones you knit you now slip. This makes a double thick fabric, with the wrong side on the inside. It’s a great pattern/project to do to ease yourself into more complicated double knitting. But, the changing pad is a relatively large project, and you are in effect making 2, just both at the same time. So, it sits by my desk at work, and when I’m on hold, or in a meeting, I can get a few stitches in here and there. It was also my lights out project, so I’ve gotten it close to being done….just not close enough.

I’ve done literally nothing more on that sweater. Other than disconnecting the needle tips for other projects, and putting them back on when I’m done. I so love interchangeable circular needles. 🙂

While I seem to be posting these Knitter’s Almanac thoughts on Fridays, they really aren’t failures for me. Yeah, it’s kind of a bummer that I didn’t complete my stated goal. But, goals are things that are just out of reach. If we could always reach our goals, they wouldn’t need to be goals, they would just be things we are doing. That being said, there’s a difference between not trying and not succeeding. I legitimately tried, and we are getting to some months where I succeeded. I want to be careful here that you don’t “hear” me give you permission to never stretch what you think your boundaries might be.

Firstly, you don’t need my permission for anything. (Unless you do, and you know who you are!) I’m a bunch of random words on your screen of choice, and am here for entertainment purposes only. Secondly, though, stretching is good! Generally, the worst thing that happens is you decide not to do that thing again. The cost/benefit analysis, for ME makes it worth stretching a bit. Not all the time, mind you. There is clearly something to be said for the soothing comfort of the rivers and the lakes that you are used to. (Ha! those of us of a certain age have that song in our heads now)

Before I leave you tonight, I’ll share one small EZ related bon mot. I’m taking a quilting class (yes, yes, I’ll share about that later, I am quite behind on so many things). Sunday night, our homework for this Saturday (by noon) was to complete 20 quilt blocks 10.5″ x 10.5″, plus the sashing in between. So…the entire top. I have been frantically sewing in all my spare moments, and I have completed 6 blocks. I have GB tonight, so I won’t be getting much more done. When telling Poopie of my homework earlier this week, his response was “Is Elizabeth Zimmerman teaching this class?” Clearly, she is. So, that’s my fail, I’m not going to have my homework done. Think they’ll believe the baby ate it?

This Must Be Thursday · Uncategorized

Why Elizabeth Zimmerman should not be believed

I’m not sure if I’ve told you, or just think I’ve told you, but in 2020, my “New Years Resolution” was to knit out of Elizabeth Zimmerman’s Knitter’s Almanac. Well, this is (the end of) February 2021, and I’m talking about January of 2020. So, that really tells you all you need to know about that particular endeavor.

The left shows what I was “supposed” to have completed in January. The right shows what was done. I’m assuming she was thinking of us finishing just one sweater…but who the hell knows what goes on in her noggin. Now, to be fair to Ms. Zimmerman, I had to restart a couple times because gauge. The yarn is some yarn I spun forever ago. I’m not positive of the fiber. Because I never noted it, because clearly, how could I ever forget?? The discerning reader may notice the different color yarns in my knitted work. I had played with dying with Oregon Grape berries. I did half the yarn, and now I have to deal with THAT decision. So, the sweater is going to have some subtle striping.

I’m not sure it’s necessary to spell out the many lessons here. I’ll do it anyway, at least some of them.

  • Always label your fiber. At every step. You won’t remember.
  • Be cautious when experimenting with knitting amounts of fiber…you are going to be stuck figuring out how to use this stuff.
  • Never believe a kindly old British knitter when she tells you you can knit a sweater in a month.

The fact of the matter is that I will have to rip this out YET AGAIN. I got gauge, but my forever fight with gauge means that the sweater is still too small. I do, however, have enough done that I can feel confident measuring the *actual* gauge. Somehow, I epitomize the concept of “works on paper….but…” I mean, seriously, I got the right number of stitches per inch, I checked my maths, and still too small. Like, not even putting Poopie on a starvation diet will do it. And don’t think I didn’t consider that, Dear Reader.

Last year, I thought this year I would try working on the same months’ projects and finish up. I.e. I’d finish the January 2020 project in January 2021. I was wrong. I have several other works in progress that I’m working on instead. Plus, doing this resolution really hampered me, and made me less happy than I thought it would.

Throughout my mental health journey, professionals have opined that I may be happier if I were more focused. Keep in mind that in the real world, people who deal with me opine that I’m TOO focused. I didn’t intend for this to be an experiment in that, but it turned out to be. It turns out that I’m not happier focusing on just one thing. I get bored (as well as other more complicated feelings) if I *have* to do something. If that something is one of several projects, I don’t seem to have those issues so much. What has worked for me is to commit to working for a time period, or to a certain point every day (week/month/whatever). For example, work one repeat of this pattern and then work on something else. Or do an hour of picking up the house, and then an hour of binge (un) worthy TV.

As I had said earlier, the craziness of pandemic didn’t help this project, but January was NOT pandemic, so I can’t blame this on plague. To re iterate my defense of the esteemed Ms. Zimmerman, I was working with random hand spun, so I had to futz with gauge quite a bit. She had been so practiced, she probably had a go to yarn, and go to needles, which I did (do) not. So, a good several days to a week was spent in design and gauge. I don’t think this time was taken into consideration in her calculations. I still don’t think a working person with any semblance of a life outside of knitting should aspire to complete a cabled Aran sweater in a month. That being said, just because I couldn’t do it, doesn’t mean YOU can’t do it. Just… don’t beat yourself up for not being able to do it. Trust me, I did enough beating up for all of us.

Clearly, I’m not getting to February 2020 in February 2021, but I’ll try to get caught up.

Scrap-urday

It’s not hoarding if you use it!

Once again, it seems that life conspires against me. I start to get into a groove, and then something comes along to shake it up. I had so many good intentions of getting at least one post done this last weekend, and finishing up/starting a couple more so future Me would have things easy. We knew we were supposed to have an ice storm last Friday, so Poopie made sure to have us all stocked up so we wouldn’t have to go anywhere over the weekend. I was going to be watching the Red Alder interviews in the evenings and while away the days doing whatever craft, and finding a new show to binge watch. I’m sure he had his plans which likely involved loud music, either listening to, or creating.

And then our power went out Friday night. There went all of my plans for the weekend. As well as the following week. We were without power for 12 hours shy of a full week, just getting it back yesterday morning.

So we come to hoarding. Or…allusions to hoarding. For over a decade, I have dealt with not so thinly veiled criticisms of me keeping things. Don’t go thinking it was just from Poopie, I also hear from other people who have no problems giving me their unsolicited opinions on my things. There are many reasons why I keep Useful Things. I mean, firstly, they are Useful Things. I have Plans for them. Yes, I have many Plans; and some do not come to fruition, but some DO! Secondly, I grew up poor enough that we couldn’t afford to throw out Useful Things. Take paper bags, they can be reused for all sorts of things: garbage sacks, and just…sacks. Book covers as well. No, I’m not old enough for that to have been a “thing”, school mates thought I was weird…of course, this was not the only evidence for their thinking that way. Paper bags also were wrapping paper. Fun fact: this year, they were again. That’s saying nothing of fabric, string, yarn, stuffing, etc…

I’ve already mentioned this, but way last March, when we needed to start wearing masks, but there weren’t enough of the disposable kind (and who wants to keep making more garbage????), I found a pattern for a relatively easy mask. I could actually make 2 out of a single fat quarter. But…why would I use up my fat quarters? I still had a ton of fabrics left over from goodness knows what else because I’ve inherited a BUNCH of fabric scraps. Friends and family all know I’ll welcome them. In fact, for one of Thing 2’s birthday parties, instead of goodie bags for the guests, she wanted purses, so I made a bunch of simple purses out of scraps I had gotten from my MIL (which included her mom’s stuff, I believe). I think she (MIL) enjoyed the memories of a skirt or dress she had made herself in school. I’ll be honest, I take a great amount of pride in making things from scraps that look like they are supposed to look that way. I love making trash into treasure, and I fancy myself good at it.

Shocking no one, I digress….back to cutting up scraps for masks. I made some for our household, for my in laws, for the households of my mom, sister, and aunt. Basically anyone who wanted them. The only thing I needed to purchase was the elastic. I did not have a hoard stash of that. I was also able to make a bunch of masks to donate to various drives. Again, with very little out of pocket. And the time spent making masks was time I didn’t spend dreading/worrying like so many others. I’ll try to talk about this “trick” of mine in another post.

When the wildfires came, and the local charities were gathering toiletries for fire refugees, all those tiny bottles of shampoos, and little wrapped hotel soaps, and who knows what else I dragged out of my linen closet were put to good use. See? Not hoard — stash. Not junk — Useful Things.

We’ve been the family way station for firewood. Got extra wood that needs burning? It ends up at our house. Anyone going on a camping trip calls up, and they end up grabbing a load of wood from us. We have a fireplace in our house, so it makes sense for us to have the wood. We don’t heat with it. My house was built in 1979, so the fireplace is more ornamental than functional. Unless our electricity is out for almost a week. It’s still more ornamental than functional, but we managed to keep the living room at 50 degrees, while the rest of the house was 40-42. This lovely picture is of Poopie restocking the wood by the front door. He’s wearing the helmet because while the temperature was warming the next morning, that just meant giant ice chunks were falling from the cedar. He said it was a good thing he was wearing the helmet considering the loud crashing he kept hearing in the helmet.

And for my final “hoarding” story….the candles from our wedding…11 years ago. I had an evening wedding in winter. Instead of flowers everywhere, there were candles. What do you do with a metric ton of 1/2 burned candles? (Actually, just one under bed sized tote) I mean, no one wants them, but I can’t just throw them away. It’s not like they’ll go bad. Well, we went through about half that tub. I was so very glad I had that hoard stash of candles. Especially since I still haven’t received the tapers I ordered online yet. Sitting in the dark, even with your spouse is depressing…I assume. I didn’t have to find out…because I was prepared with a stash of candles.

I was able to use the electricity at my local volunteer gig for my computer for my day job. But, I’d come home just as it was getting dark. So lots of candlelight. We do have electric lanterns, but they don’t really give off much more light it turns out than the candles do, and the light isn’t as nice. I was able to channel our textile fore bearers (finally! she gets to some textiles!) during our outage. I sat by the fire and spun up the last of the random fiber I had been spinning when I last chatted with you. I now need to figure out how/what to ply it with. I couldn’t before because I didn’t have enough light to be able to see, but I’m hoping to figure that out tomorrow. It wasn’t light enough for me to weave. It might have been, but I broke a warp on Saturday, and the light was never good enough for me to confidently fix it. I spent most evenings knitting on one of last year’s Knitter’s Almanac projects (more on that elsewhere).

I have been keeping my patterns on a cool app in my iPad, and working off that. That meant I wasn’t able to work on either the shawl or scarf I have on needles because I didn’t want to drain my iPad. Basically, I was hoarding conserving the power I did have. I did realize that the lighting with candles probably isn’t good enough if trying to do a project that you need to refer to a pattern for, anyway. My black out knitting was an easy peasy double knit single color. garter edge, k1, sl1wif. all the way to the garter edge, turn, repeat.

Honestly, the roughest part for me was the job portion, the computer set up going to a laptop was terrible. The desk was an ergonomic nightmare as well…my back is still super unhappy with me. At home, we were able to borrow a generator to keep our freezer running, so we lost a minimal amount of food. We have no kids at home, so the only whining was our own. Of course, if it had to go much longer, I’m not sure how sanguine I could continue to be, I was starting to feel the strain. I spent today watching Franklin Habit on YouTube which has restored my knitting zen.

The blackout knitting just wasn’t enough to rejuvenate my zen. After this year, with pandemic, wildfires, surgery, other family issues, and now this, I think it’s fairly reasonable that I was seeing cracks in my zen. The blackout knitting was definitely keeping the beasts at bay, but I am always grateful for any added assistance.

Back to my thesis. These examples show that it’s not hoarding if you use it. Sometimes, if you have the resources, it makes sense to set aside for the rainy (insert plaguey, firey, or icey) day (week, month, year). And if you find you have some good fabric or yarn that needs a home, Poopie doesn’t have access to this site’s email…just sayin’ 😉

Uncategorized · Wednesday In Progress

Yarn Potluck

Trying to find ways to stay connected is a difficulty many of us are facing. I’m a misanthrope, so…eh…not so much. It is funny how often I find myself in this role, though. For most of my work life, I’ve worked “remotely”. I didn’t work inside an office. I reported to the office, but I rarely had to go in. Even when I worked in the office, I supported, or was paired up with people who worked remotely. It’s a different type of rapport building. You can’t just smile at someone as you walk past their desk. You have to be intentional about contact. And some of that contact is dumb. In the office, when you come across an odd name, you can chuckle, and mention something about it, and someone will hear you, and there may be a short interchange. But, in the field, you actually have to pick up the phone and call someone and say “Guess what name I came across?”.

I think I’ve told you a dear friend and I became friends because I misdialed an interoffice number. I happened to catch him on his first day at that company, and because I was used to the weirdness of remote work, I chatted with him. Unbeknownst to me, for several years, he thought I had intentionally called him to check in on his first day. I wish I could lay claim to that kind of thoughtfulness. I can’t. I misremember birthdays. What actually happens is that I remember the birthday at an inopportune time, and then forget to call when I get a chance. But if you want to know that a co-worker’s name makes me giggle every time I see it…well, I’ve probably told you three times. For inquiring minds–his name is Jason Wason. I *know* it must be pronounced Wah-son, not Way-son….but in my head, his parents are jerks that gave him a rhyming name.

I’ve done a whole thesis (literally) on community. My thesis was specifically on the music scene, but since it’s my thesis, I’m extrapolating. And it’s completely extrapolate-able. I’ve read a lot of research on the importance of community groups on social wellbeing. Clearly, one of my social groups is the fiber community. My knitting group hasn’t met since last February (we might have gotten into March, but since I still have N’s birthday gift, I am pretty certain it was February). At the beginning of all this, I had suggested to meet virtually. However, no one was interested. I think it was a combination of us all thinking it was going to be just 6-8 weeks, as well as some fear of the technology. But whatever the real reason. I heard crickets. OK, then.

Then, last fall, when all signs were pointing to this being super long term, they decided to try to meet virtually. I had already started new habits/routines, and then I had recovery, so I was out a couple of times at the beginning. It’s definitely a different thing. In person, there are often long periods of silence when you are just working on your project and enjoying being with each other. Or, we’ll have multiple conversations going on at once, and I go back and forth between a couple of them. Silence on virtual calls is weird and uncomfortable. Some people aren’t used to this format, so have loud/distracting/weird background noises going on. Cross talk is almost impossible, and really should be discouraged. But…one of our very first members moved away several years ago, and doesn’t get to come. Except now, since we are virtual, we get to spend time with her. Another member also moved away during this time, and hasn’t had to stop joining us. So, like with most things, there is both good and bad.

At a virtual retreat…because yes, everyone is trying to navigate this new world…an attendee was talking about a project she and her group of friends do. In this project, they all send her a skein of fingering weight yarn. She splits it up, sends back out mini-skeins, and they work on a project together.

I spoke with my group, and we had enough interest that I decided to try something similar. Poopie called it yarn potluck. So, part of my recovery from surgery was getting squishy presents on my porch and splitting up the yarn into mini balls. Because what I had did not evenly split between the six of us, everyone got a batch of five, and was missing their own. I had SO MANY questions about the yarn. But, the hilarious thing is that pretty much everyone sent in a turquoise-ish color. I KNOW that if I had specified a color, it would have been even more questions (is this too green? is this too blue? is this teal, or turquoise?). But since I didn’t, they pretty much all sent in turquoise. Please excuse the wires, I was doing this on my work desk 🙂

I then had to pick a pattern. This was my genius idea, so it was only fair that I had to figure out the details. I needed something that would lend itself to many pieces of yarn. I wanted something that was relatively simple so that people could personalize. I took an informal poll, and the consensus was for a cowl. So, to Ravelry I went. I found this: https://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/coulis Simple, easily adaptable if you want to add patterning, yet still beautiful if you don’t want to think. I thought this would be good for our first attempt.

As far as I know, only myself and one other person has finished the cowl (or, frankly, even started on it). But that’s OK. The point isn’t for us to do something specific. The point is for us to feel like a community. I have plans for the next thing, probably in a month or so. I’m thinking of calling it “Steel Wool”. It’s like Iron Chef, but with fiber arts. I will have a challenge fiber, and we will incorporate it into a project. It won’t have to be knitting. It could be crochet, or weaving, or spinning, or collage, or…I don’t know. I’ll probably have that going for 2-3 months, and then try to figure out how to do a Round Robin project.

We keep hearing that we are all in this together. But unless you are naturally a hermit, you probably are having a hard time with how together looks right now. You may have even tried reaching out, but it wasn’t the right medium, or maybe not the right time. Try not to get discouraged. Look, realistically, there probably won’t be any more of my group finishing the cowl. But these ladies (because the guys didn’t wish to participate) came together to do a little thing. We had conversations back and forth about yarn, about patterns, about whatever. And that’s what the point was.

Wednesdays are generally about works in progress, and I finished the cowl. But community is still in progress. Community is ALWAYS in progress. It doesn’t matter if there’s a pandemic, or not. We should always be working on community. It’s important for the world, it’s important for our health, and it’s important for our souls.

Do you have ideas for virtual fiber connectivity? Do you want to be sent some challenge yarn? Let me know.

Good night Dear Reader!

This Must Be Thursday

Happy New Year

More importantly, Good Bye to the dumpster fire that was 2020. But, then again, was it really? I mean, yeah, we all had plans. And those plans were incinerated. But, doesn’t that happen every year? No? Just me?

As an example….I had planned to complete Elizabeth Zimmerman’s Knitters Almanac. By the end of January, I knew that was a terrible plan. In January, before COVID and everything that came with, my plans were already destroyed. So, yeah, I can blame COVID, but really, it’s just life. Or, at least my life. But, see, I’m prepared for that. Since that is what I am used to, and what I prepare for, I’m OK.

I heard an interview with a couples counselor this last summer where she noticed that the person in the relationship who had been agreed to have the “problems” in the before times was now handling things well, but the person in the relationship who was “fine” in the before times is having problems coping. All I could think when listening to this interview was “Who’s coping mechanisms are unhealthy now, hunh?”

If any of you have loved ones in your life who deal with depression and/or anxiety, look back on this last year for yourself. How you have been feeling? Overwhelmed? Exhausted? Sick dread always? That weird feeling in your chest? That’s almost every single day of their lives. We are 9 months into this, and lots of people have gone beyond cracking. Imagine year in and year out. *That’s* a small sample of what they…we…deal with. This year has been what we’ve been constantly preparing for.

So, while all y ‘all were scrambling around trying to find fabric and elastic for masks at the beginning of all this, me and my fabric hoard stash were merrily sewing away. While everyone was panic buying supplies, I went through my house and gathered what I could, and we put the supplies on the shopping list so we could grab some of what was available every time we shopped. We didn’t empty shelves. There wasn’t a reason for that. But, by stocking up a bit, when the wildfires came through town, we were able to share what we had. The only down side to this is that Poopie has seen this as a sign that his choice all those years ago to put tissue packs in the piñata was a good one. He is still wrong about that. But, I will take that, since it means my “crazy” ideas of having buckets of staple supplies in the garage have been proven useful. Don’t get me wrong, I would have preferred not to have all the loss we’ve had this last year, but there is that tiniest (OK, not so tiny) part of me that is saying “See!?! Not crazy, visionary!”

Sorry if some of this is repeat, but it’s been a while since I’ve written, and I assume it’s been a while since you’ve read. I’m going to try to work myself into getting back to blogging. I imagine I’ll let you know what I’ve been up to over this time period while I’ve been away. While not necessarily exciting, you know me, I’m always busy.

Also, please note, they’ve changed the formatting for me. I can go back to the classic, but let’s see what this does for now.

Blerg! The bulk of this was written Monday/Tuesday. I’m still processing Wednesday…so, I won’t be talking about that here/now. I’ll be knitting/weaving/sewing, whatever….

Monday Musings

Re-acclimation

Whatever your feelings on the matter, the economy is trying to reopen, and legal restrictions are loosening. This means my halcyonic quarantine is coming to an end. My volunteer gigs are starting to reopen. Which has meant I’m starting to have to have a schedule outside of work that does not include just going out and digging in my yard.

This transition has been harder on me than the lockdown. Monday, I missed a VERY important meeting I had with the Council where I was to have appeared as the Chair of another committee. There goes my hopes of public service (yeah right). Literally the next day, I got an IM from my supervisor asking if I was going to show for the all office training? Oops. I did manage to be on time for an interview for a new podcast later that night, though the host was late. Here’s the interview, by the way: https://anchor.fm/gary-fox2/episodes/Garland-Pepper-presents-Daisy-Santana-Hickman–Fiber-queen-knitting-spinning-etc-ef04a7?fbclid=IwAR16c1Mgsc19yskKoxvkmh0BZH0fvXaVJ5yjPIYNhb786RVnSNcqxp0bsdY

Wednesday, I had 2 work meetings. I only remembered one, and then I had to take a late lunch because of meeting 1. By some weird quirk of fate, I clocked back in just minutes before my second meeting (which was the one I forgot). Thank goodness for that, since it was a skip level meeting with my boss’ boss’ boss’ boss (yeah, 4 levels up). Thursday’s after work meeting went off without a hitch. Thankfully, no meetings for me to screw up Friday. However, Saturday, as I was going through my emails, I found not one, but two emails from someone trying to interview me about some board work. We’ll see if my response is too late. I haven’t missed feeling like a failure.

And no, putting these things on my phone calendar hasn’t been working, I’ve gotten out of the habit of having my phone with me all the time. Clearly, emails are not currently effective. I’m just going to have to go back to being used to being tethered to my phone and being pulled in a lot of directions. I foresee knitting making a comeback for me. It is a wonderful stress relief.

As I’m personally struggling with this dumbness, the world at large continues to struggle with larger issues, and I find myself expending more mental and emotional resources outside of my home. Gardening, as well as knitting helps with that. While I pull weeds, or move tons (probably not literally) of rock, woodchip, and dirt, I listen to podcasts and alternately learn and think Great Thoughts. As I have to start engaging more outside my home, that time will go away, and I will miss it. But enjoy photos of what I’ve done (mostly) by my lonesome. However, I still have my fiber arts, and they are often portable

.

One thing I’ve realized during my down time, and solidified in my conversation with Garland, is that knitting gives me the space to respond, rather than react. This was a concept I learned from my first Molly (yoga teacher). Yoga/meditation helps you build your proverbial moat so you have time to respond to stimulus, rather than react. Knitting does that for me. When smoking was a thing, cigarettes did that for the world at large. Think about the old movies/shows. Some groundbreaking thing was said or done, and the person took a drag off the cigarette, buying a few moments, before they responded. We don’t have that anymore. I think a lot of people don’t want that anyway–we are so in need of immediacy. Knitting gives me that, though. I can finish up this row before I respond. Or, I can be so involved I completely missed whatever asinine thing came out of your face.

I haven’t needed that for these last few months.

Please be patient with me as I re-acclimate to “reality”. And thank you, Dear Readers, for your words of encouragement. They really do mean a lot.

This Must Be Thursday

Eff DeAnna

Have you ever lost touch with someone and not known how to reconnect? It happens to the best of us.  And trust me, I’m not even in the top 50%.  Last year sometime, I stopped blogging.  I had reasons (excuses).  Mostly surrounding time at the beginning.  Trying to figure out a time when I could sit down and write.  Prior, it had been really easy to just blog while Poopie was at practice, but his practices became more sporadic, and I wasn’t stringent on making sure I took time out myself.  Later there was motivation, some stemming from health issues, and serious depression because of those issues, some just lack of practice. While not all resolved satisfactorily, the depression isn’t debilitating anymore since I’ve had time to process and come to terms with things. I have been my usual self of not saying no nearly enough.  Plus, there were a whole slew of other aggravating things no one wants to deal with.  Frankly, I just didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to try to be upbeat here as well as in real life.

To prove how contrary I am, the pandemic, which is throwing everyone else into a tailspin, has been like a breath of fresh air for me.  Many who know me probably assume I’m getting so much knitting done.  I am not.  Knitting is how I cope with the stresses of everyday life.  Without everyday life, I don’t have those stressors, so I don’t need to knit as much.  Being pretty portable, I’m able to take knitting with me when I go to functions, board meetings, shows, etc… but now, I don’t need to worry about portability.

In addition, I am finally home to do all those projects which have been percolating in my brain.  I got 1/3 of my apple tree chopped up, which is awesome considering how terrified I am of chainsaws.  I made poor Poopie help me move 2 yards of wood chips, though I did the 1/2 yard of gravel by myself, since it needed to be done with individual buckets vs. a wheelbarrow.  I’ve torn up half my front yard trying to de thatch it, but had to stop that project because the hippy lawn seed (which involves flowers and low water/maintenance plants) isn’t available right now because of said pandemic, and I blew through my stash.

I’ve also made bunches of masks for family who needed them, and then a bunch more to donate.  I’ve been working through that stash as well, though I did have to order elastic online. And people thought I wouldn’t use my stash.  My sewing has been accompanied by Perry.  Poor Poopie has a negative visceral reaction when he hears the theme music now.  Back in the day, the seasons were apparently over 30 episodes.  I’m honestly not sure how many seasons there are.  I think I’m in season 4.  So…that math is really sad for Poopie.

I heard a phrase on one of my podcasts that really resonated with me–nostalgia bath.  During this weird time, the podcasters were talking about how they are finding themselves steeping in nostalgia–shows, movies, music.  Psychologically, this makes sense.  For people who are having a rough time with the stay at home orders, this brings them back to a more settled time.  For those of us who are having less of a rough time, it’s a familiar stay at home.  Perry Mason was always my lunchtime show when I stayed home sick from school.  Summers, I would wake up in time to see Perry Mason to start my day.  He’s familiar.  Also, I’m not weirded out about people touching each other in black and white.  Watching the color shows, I find myself wondering why the actors are so close to each other.  Once Perry is done, I’ll have to find something else to binge watch.  Thankfully, we live in the future, so that isn’t too difficult.  Poopie will be happy about that for maybe a week, and then be back to aggravated about my binge watching.

He’s having a rough time of it.  He does not like being at home, he needs to be out.  Since we are both members of the more vulnerable populations, even after restrictions are lifted, we’ll have to continue to be more vigilant.  This just means I can’t fully enjoy my quarantine because it hurts me that he’s so miserable.  And there is literally nothing I can do about it.

On to happier subjects.  The title of this post refers to an incident that occurred shortly before everything shut down.  DeAnna was bugging me about my lack of blogging, and faking that she couldn’t remember it, what was it called again? So I said F*ck you.  Someone next to us said “You have a blog called F*ck You? I’d read that!”  I clarified that it was F*ck DeAnna.  I’m not a monster, I only curse at those who deserve it.  So I’m fulfilling my promise to have a blog post named this.   You are welcome, Miss D 🙂

I’m going to try to do better blogging.  I even have built in conversations.  In January, I started trying to follow Elizabeth Zimmerman’s Almanac.  In a few years, we’ll talk about how hilarity ensued, but as I’m working through it, I have so  many feelings about the grande dame of knitting.  I’m planning on sharing!

Monday Musings

That sucks, have a blanket

The last several weeks have involved loss. Not my personal loss, but loss for those one or two degrees of separation from me.  We all suffer loss throughout our lives.  We all struggle with that loss.  And those of us still here have figured ways to live with that loss.

Sometimes, not gracefully.  But we keep moving forward.  Because that is our only option.  Until we master time travel, we can only move forward.  However, grief doesn’t seem to need to follow the laws of physics.  You can go on for days and days, months even, and out of the blue it will sucker punch you in the nads.  That perfect color of blue the sky has that makes you think of your loved one will have been a welcome, happy memory the last 8600 times you saw it.  This time, though, it just rips out your soul. Next time, it may be happy again.  Who knows why?

So, why does a crafting blog talk about something so heavy?  Well, it started with someone in my outer circle losing her partner.  This made me think of when a friend lost her partner relatively recently.  I kind of started putting together a post in my head that involved the blanket I gave back then.  It was kind of vague, though, and felt a bit self-serving.  But, my TEDtalk podcast had a talk on grief.  And then my friend mentioned the anniversary of her loss had arrived.  Whatever you do or don’t believe in, it felt as if something was…lets say encouraging me to put my thoughts out there.

Those who know me know that I am always crafting.  ALWAYS.  I will frequently get asked “what are you making?”  Usually, I have an answer for that.  The next logical question “who’s it for?” is tougher.  Sometimes, I know. Often, I don’t.  I have found that, much like Ray from Field of Dreams, if I make it, it will find a home.  For as often as I make things, and as many 1/2 finished items I have hanging around, I have very few finished items that take up residence at my home.

Such was the way of the blanket in the featured image. It was, in all honesty, a scrap blanket.  I love, love, love Lion Brand Homespun.  Accordingly, I had a bunch of bits and bobs of it hanging out.  I found a blanket pattern that was an interesting construction, and I thought it would look interesting with varied colors of differing amounts.  So, I went about making it.  I didn’t have anyone in mind while I was making it.  I just made it.

I knew my friend’s partner was not doing well.  Truth be told, my entire relationship with her, he wasn’t doing well.  However, as I was nearing the end of the blanket, I found out that things were so poorly off, that he had set a date for his death.  I knew then that the blanket was intended for her.  There is not much more cuddly than a blanket made out of Homespun.  This blanket is both soft and durable, it is both broken and whole.  It just screamed at me that it was hers.  We don’t really have a gift-giving relationship, but I gave it to her anyway. Later, she told me it was nice to have in her grief. This is one way we, as crafters, can help someone on their journey.

Now, to last month.  How do I help this person on her journey? We aren’t close.  D and I have really only been around each other a handful of times.  For like 1/2 those times, she didn’t even like me, I drove her up a wall, and she only put up with me for the sake of our mutual friends.  I’d never met her partner.  I don’t know her well, so I honestly wouldn’t know if any of my attempts at comfort would be doing more harm than good.  However, I could lessen the outside burdens on our mutual friends so they could more fully be there for her.  This is like the showing up post I wrote so long ago.  While it’s not a direct support to her, I hope that I indirectly helped her on her journey.

Our mutual friend G was supposed to demo at Sheep to Shawl, but it coincided with the memorial service for D’s partner.  She was going to the memorial service no matter what, but she may have been distracted by the missed obligation.  So, I hijacked someone else into demo-ing.  I hope this helped make the day smoother for those involved.  But even if it didn’t, it certainly didn’t hurt.

I am really quite socially awkward, I never seem to have the right words at the right time.  In fact, I’m super good at shoving my foot into my mouth, and I generally don’t stop talking until I reach my hip. Envision Walter Matthau in anything he’s ever done trying to be earnest…that’s me.  Foisting my awkwardness on someone isn’t really making them feel better…unless it’s by comparison.  (IE “my life is falling apart, but at least I’m not her!”) But, I can do crafting and works of service. I can also sit and knit/spin/weave/crochet while you tell me all about how your heart was ripped out by the stupid sky for no apparent reason.

And if I say “that sucks” and thrust the pair of socks I just finished at you, just know that’s me trying to say all those encouraging and inspiring words that would make everything feel a little better for a little while…it’s just I don’t know what they are.

Scrap-urday

Do as I say, not as I do

Sound familiar? If your mom never said this to you, then I don’t believe you are really human.  This post is about following directions…-ish.  In my knitting group, we are just as likely to call a pattern a recipe, as anything else.  It may be that we are old and have problems with words.  BUT, I’m going to tell you that it is because patterns are like recipes, and you should treat them the same way. So, you should read through the entire thing.  You should gather your tools (remember all the blogs on yarn?).  And then you can start.  I do this every time (wink, wink).

Before Christmas, I have about three craft/cooking days.  Things 1 and 2, as well as O all have many gifts to give.  We started a while ago making gifts.  Thing 2 has her process down pretty pat, and then will add something in to keep things interesting.  Thing 1 and O do different things every year.  One of the things I really try to stress is to read through the whole recipe (or pattern) to make sure you know what you need to be doing and when.  This is intended to keep the comments of “oh, oops!” to a minimum.  We are all fairly terrible at this step (or we forget in between times), so it’s heard pretty frequently.  Except Thing 2’s day…Thing 2 and I swear like sailors when we screw up.

Aaah, screwing up! That’s what crafting is all about.  Screwing up, and recovering from those screw ups.  A couple weeks ago, I had to pull out 10 rows of the Waiting for Rain shawl because I *thought* I had remembered how to do one of the increases.  I mean, sure, it had been several weeks since I’d worked on the shawl, and that time was working the lace insert, but I remembered.  Except, I didn’t.  So, the lesson one would be expected to learn from this is that when one puts down a project, one should re-read the pattern *again* to re-acquaint oneself with the pattern.  I can pretty much guarantee that Future Tejedora will be having a similar moment later on.  She keeps thinking she’s smarter than she is.

This would be like when Thing 2 and I were going to make a cheesecake for my brother.  We read through the whole recipe like good little cooks–or, rather, skimmed.  In the skimming, we missed that there are something like 15 different baking steps, for different times and temperatures.  I might be exaggerating, but not by much.  Oh, oops.  Still tasted fine.

Occasionally, though, you do read the pattern/recipe, and you do follow the directions, but they still don’t make sense, or you still screw up.  There can be many reasons for this.  In the featured photo, see how there’s a section of nice and neat, and then 1/2 way along, stupid purl bumps? I followed the directions!!! I really did!!!

Well, except, I modified the pattern for two colors vs. one.  But that doesn’t count, right? Well, um, yeah, it does in this case.  So, I had made an adjustment, but I didn’t carry that adjustment throughout the project.  It’s like doubling a batch of chocolate chip cookies, but not doubling the chocolate chips.  It’s fine, I guess.  In this case, I did not take into account how my alterations would necessitate altering directions later on.  The way the lace happens in this pattern, you do short rows of stockinette lace, and then when you are done, you just knit off into the sunset.  But, that means that only 1/2 of your lace insert is knitted on that row.  When you come back, the rest of the lace insert is knitted, but now, it’s showing as purl.  So, an adjustment must be made.  I chose to leave this like it is on this first insert.  It’s rustic looking anyway, it’ll be fine.  But, in the next insert, on the way back, I switched from knit to purl on that last 1/2, so the insert is all smooth.  This *does* mean that I have a section of not quite garter for one row, but that was more acceptable to me than the 1/2 in 1/2 out visual experience that dogmatically following the rules gave me. OK fine, you purists!!! *dogmatically following the rules after I threw them out the window in the first place. I suppose one should learn to follow a change through the whole process to make sure one understands how the change could affect things in the future.  One should also live a little.

And then, Dear Reader, there are the times you follow the directions, and it just doesn’t turn out.  You re-look at the directions, and re-do it so many times, and it still doesn’t turn out. This happened to me this last year with a sweater I made for Poopie.  The cable pattern was not coming out right.  It was Elizabeth Zimmerman, so I was sure that it was me.  Clearly, I was doing something wrong.  I finally looked up the pattern elsewhere, and found there really was a typo in the Zimmerman book.  This one clearly taught me that even our heroes are just people.  And everyone needs a good editor.

Except me.  I’m going to keep telling you my typos and formatting issues are part of my charm 🙂

Monday Musings

Finally! Knitting

We will now get to which yarn I *did* choose for the shawl.  Surprisingly, it didn’t come from my yarn wall.  I don’t keep cones on the wall! That’s just crazy talk!!  It came from a yarn bin.

These are vintage wool yarns in what would probably be a 2 on the ball band in today’s times.  Because they are vintage, I have no idea anything about the provenance of them.  If I run out (I won’t), I won’t be able to get more.  I am not positive of the care and feeding of these particular yarns, so a shawl is good because most people should assume you must be very delicate in the cleaning of those. As opposed to say…a hat.

I especially like the rustic look of these yarns, and think they will add a little something to the pattern. I am a big fan of dichotomy.  It’s one of the things that I appreciate about the pattern.  It mixes the simpleness of garter with lace inserts.

I am finding with the vintage yarns there’s some old wearing and the green keeps having weak spots that I choose to break and rejoin rather than have a weak spot in my work.  I have looked carefully, and I don’t believe those spots are because of insects.  Honestly, they may be from critters chewing (I think the yarns were stored in a barn).  There is also a possibility that something in the dye is weakening the yarn.  It’s not quite a poison green…but who knows what those dyes did to the yarn??

A less…stubborn (?) person would have scrapped it all and went with some other yarn.  I am telling you, it is a pain to have to keep breaking and reattaching yarn.  As I get further along in this cone, it’s having to happen less and less.  I’m quite pleased with where I’m at with it now.

Would i do it the same knowing what I know now, though? I honestly don’t know.  I can tell you that I wouldn’t recommend it for anyone else.  Knitting isn’t supposed to be this much work.  In every project, there is some aspect that’s not my favorite.  But I don’t want it to be work.  And like Judith McKenzie kept saying in our spinning class at Madrona “Life’s too short”.

My plan for next post is to discuss a bit about following directions. Where will I land on that one?

P.S. did you notice last week’s featured picture was the yarn I chose?