Zen and the art of crafting

January 30, 2018January 30, 2018 La Tejedora5 Comments

I flagrantly paraphrased the title of a wonderful book. But I love the title of this post, and think I may unpack this over several posts. (holla back to my yarn wall!!)

Today was a Monday. Let me tell you, it was MONDAY. It started off literally with me having to send an “All the best” email. For those of you who don’t work with me, that’s how I say “FU” in a professional email. Everyone I know in any sort of customer service gig has a phrase like that, like “Have a nice weekend”, or “Enjoy your day”. How are we to deal with these days? Well, I craft.

“Zen is the “spirit of the valley,” not the mountaintop.”
― Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

…And so it is with me. Crafting has been there for me in my valleys. My very first yoga instructor explained how yoga/meditation can create some space around ourselves. A mental moat, if you will. That moat gives you space to respond to, rather than react to people and situations. Many articles have been written about the difference between the two, and how important that difference is. Reacting is sending the email that says “had you read the previous email, jerkwad…” Responding is “all the best”. Actually, responding is probably “I’m sorry you feel that way”. “All the best” lives somewhere in the middle. This is a journey, Dear Reader, I’m not there yet.

Even before I understood what meditation was about, I think I was meditating while crafting. As I form a stitch, or spin a length, or any of the myriad tasks I complete on my way to my finished project, it is almost as if I enter an altered state. While I engage one part of my brain to do my craft, another part is processing complex thoughts and feelings. More articles talk about what meditation can be. I have taken from my research* that anything done mindfully can be a form of meditation.

I find it difficult to do traditional meditation. I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass through, but I seem to pick at them. When all I’m tasked with is paying attention to my breathing, I get bored. It’s not good to admit. But, Dear Reader, if I don’t admit to the two (ha!) shortcomings I have, you’ll never think I can relate to you. When I am crafting, though, I don’t seem to need to to pick at the thoughts. They can come and go. I can pay attention to them, or not. That little bit of attention to what my hands are doing is all it takes for me to enter into the appropriate head space.

Not every project is a good Zen candidate, though. You need something that you can “zone out” doing. That thing depends on your familiarity with the craft in question. It also depends on what you need out of the project. Something that is technical for you may not give the “Zen” experience. In fact, there have been many times in my crafting where I’ve needed to meditate to deal with what I’m trying to craft! Crafting to solve my crafting problems! It’s crazy!!!! (We’ll talk later about what those more complicated projects can do for you mentally)

Granted, crafts don’t start out as being calming or soothing. I remember directly after teaching DeAnna to knit, her telling me I was crazy for thinking she’d ever find knitting relaxing. Well, no, not while you are learning. But it wasn’t even a couple of months later that she related a story about being irritated with her 70 kids (there are actually *only* five), and one of them brought her her knitting bag because he thought she needed the stress release. She has many stories of using knitting as a stress relief (which is what meditation is supposed to do, right?). The point is not to take up crafting in the hopes that you will suddenly find Nirvana. Unless you hid “Nevermind” in the bottom of your craft basket.

If, however, you have already taken up a craft, see if maybe you can use it as meditation. Is there something repetitive that you do in this craft that needs you to pay just a little attention? I, personally, have many projects going at the same time. Each has a purpose, and one purpose could be meditation. Even if you don’t have an entire project for this purpose, you may find that within a project, there is a step you dread because it’s mind numbingly boring. Instead of looking at it as boring, does it help to use it to see if you can turn it into meditation? (I’m looking at you miles and miles of stockinette stitch in the body of a sweater–and don’t think I don’t see you quilt binding that needs to be hand stitched…)

Crafting has the added benefit of being “useful”. It gives us an “excuse”. While we can discuss the reasons why it’s BS that we need excuses, the fact remains that excuses make things easier. You don’t have to explain you don’t want to talk to anyone today because you sent five “all the best” emails. You are crafting. You don’t have to react to your family member’s questionable political view, because look, that stitch just dropped. Hunh, where did that go? And those days you just can’t even? For literally no reason other than it’s Thursday? Well, you’re being productive. And you didn’t have time to shower because you had this project you needed to finish. It’s not depression (unless it is, and if it is, get help for that shit, you are neither Superman, nor Wonder Woman)

That’s not to say that those who are close to you won’t know. But just as it’s easier for you not to have that argument, it’s easier for them as well to not have that argument. You don’t have to explain you need to decompress. You don’t have to explain that yes, you are just sitting there doing nothing, but that in itself is doing something. You are making Things. And if secretly, you are building a moat so that you don’t scoop out their eyeballs with a spoon to feed to feral dogs, well, we can let that be our secret (that was oddly specific–unless you live in my head–in which case, it was just specific).

The featured photo is a gift for Barb. It was Zen crafting at its finest!! I spun the yarn, and was able to be soothed by that. And then, the pattern was simple enough and repetitive enough that I was able to be soothed by the making of the scarf as well!

*there are no sources cited. This is a blog, not a dissertation. Use Google, like I had to!

Friday Fails and Fixes

In which she drops the f bomb (once)

January 27, 2018January 27, 2018 La Tejedora2 Comments

OK, I said yesterday I’m expanding, and so I am (that’s not a fat joke). I *wanted* Friday to be Friday Fuck-ups. But, I was reminded I’m supposed to be PG-13. Apparently, you can only have one f-bomb in the movie to keep it PG-13. I hope to be doing more Friday posts, so….I had to rethink. Thinking in the first place can be rough. Re-thinking…torture ;).

I wanted it to be in that same vein, though. And here’s why: we see on social media (blogs included) the best facet of people’s lives. When we meet someone in person, we meet their Facebook persona. Life is *not* like that though. As an example, I have an affinity for crafts, and naturally catch on. So, in classes, I soar ahead of the other students. HOWEVER, I still have epic fails. They don’t see that in classes, and may think it always comes easy… which it doesn’t.

Comparing ourselves to the online versions of people is an awful thing to do to yourself. I have had it described to me as comparing our rough draft lives to someone’s final draft. “Oh look, she has this perfect family, her husband bought her flowers.” Meanwhile, I’m over here giving mine the silent treatment and he doesn’t even notice it’s been three days since I spoke to him. What she’s not saying is that he bought her flowers because he was out all night, and came home smelling of booze and cheap perfume.

Dear Reader, I hope by now you’ve grocked to the fact that my stories about crafting are VERY thinly veiled stories about life. They are all true, mind you, but the lessons have more to do with life than the actual craft. For example, I’m not going to be telling you about the time my husband farted in my face on my 30th birthday because he thought it would be hilarious. That would be rude and uncalled for…kind of like farting in someone’s face ON THEIR BIRTHDAY.

Instead, I’ll tell you about the above shawl, and you can infer what you want from that.

This summer, my LYS had an event wherein each month, you made something that fulfilled the requirements they put forth at the beginning of the month. August’s project needed to have a pattern who’s name included Sun, or Solar, or Eclipse (I think). So, I bought yarn, and a pattern. This is a big deal for me. I rarely buy yarn anymore *cough* yarn wall *cough*. Same with patterns–there’s so much out there for free! And I almost never buy both for a project. Even more shocking, I ended up purchasing (on accident) the yarn called for.

I set about knitting this thing. And I hated almost every moment of it. The lace pattern was not intuitive at all, the pattern was confusing. I had been spoiled by shawl patterns by Sivia Harding*. I really liked the yarn and color-way, but was slogging through the shawl. Fellow crafters were in love with the shawl. Pam even bought the pattern and some yarn to do one herself (over my strong objections). I just couldn’t have the same enthusiasm…until I finished. Huzzah! I was done!!!!

Sivia had finally convinced me of the joys of blocking (we will get there someday, Dear Reader), so I went to block this shawl….and that’s what I saw….A giant freaking hole (already dropped an f-bomb in the post can’t do another. Believe me, in real life, this was a hard R moment).

I was about ready to cry. The only thing that saved me from tears was my absurdist sense of humor. Of course the shawl I hated would be a fail. Of course I spent a solid month working on something there was no salvaging. While I’ve taken classes and become fairly adept at fixing lacework…this lace has no repeat. It’s a mess to do it in the first place, much less to figure out what dropped where.

No. the only fix was to take a picture to share my shame with my crafting friends, and rip the sucker out. The pattern has been shredded, and the yarn, as you can see is back on the yarn wall where it can think about what it did.

So that’s the fail. In this case, the fix is to delete, delete, delete. In life, we don’t always have that option. He can’t unfart in my face, and is that really a break-up-able offense if you aren’t Elaine? I know, I had to think hard about it too… Unlike life, crafting ALWAYS has that option.

When I first taught DeAnna to knit, we were knitting squares for Warm up America. She went off to knit, and came back with…something. It wasn’t square, or even a rhombus, we don’t know what it was. She was almost in tears, she was so frustrated. She had no idea what she did wrong (neither did I frankly, to this day I don’t know). I told her not to worry, we’d fix it. I pulled out the needles, and undid the whole thing.

Just like life, my crafting advice can be a bit…dubious. I mean, a better teacher would probably have figured out what she did, and actually fixed it, instead of just tearing it out and having her do it over again. But, I know DeAnna. What she needed that day was a do-over. Some days are like that…even in Australia.

So, if you have need of dubious advice, let me know! I’m more than happy to oblige!

*no sponsorship, I just love her classes and designs!

This Must Be Thursday

Snowday

January 26, 2018 La Tejedora1 Comment

In telling you about the life of the hat, I briefly mentioned our snow day, which turned into weekend. This is a thing I had started when my nieces and nephews were young. I don’t know why I decided to do it, but it was probably some hippy anti-consumerism idea I had. Instead of buying them junk, I would get them a disposable camera each, and we would go to the mountains and sled on some random by-road.

A couple of things I really appreciated about this is that I got to spend time with all these people, and create memories… and we have a lot of those. It also made the whole Christmas timing thing a lot easier. With how families have grown, there is often a lot of stress about getting to all the Christmas functions without hurting feelings. Snow day has to be in winter because…snow. But otherwise, it can be whenever (unlike Christmas). We’ve added to it, of course. Mo started coming when he came back from the Marines. When my mom and Jane moved to central Oregon, it became a time we could meet up. When Poopie and I got together, he and Things 1 and 2 came as well.

As everyone gets older, traditions are more difficult to maintain. Since Things 1 and 2 are adults and, therefore, no longer required to join me, they opt out. My nieces and nephews have jobs, and significant others, and lives of their own. This year had started out much larger, but one by one, people bowed out. So, this year’s snow day was just me, Poopie, Mo, and O. I think the snow day tradition may be dead, but that is how life goes. You need to let go of things that no longer work for you, and it may be that snow day doesn’t work for them anymore.

We had fun anyway, though, and extended snow day to a whole weekend with a cabin! We were able to get to the snow Saturday morning about the time we are usually leaving the valley. Had Mo and Poopie not decided to hike around the lake, we probably would have gone out again. I took several projects to work on. The knit hat being one. We also played board games. O introduced me to a new tablet game, which I’ve already finished (as well as the three sequels).

You would be so proud of me, Dear Reader, I took pictures….many of which, my camera ate…but I salvaged a few. I’m not going to re-post the hat, but below is the montage of crafting. You can see the several pairs of socks I had packed for keeping toasty. Those socks were done on my CSM. I’ll blog about the joys of CSM knitting at a later date. There are also some gloves my dear friend Life After Work made for me last year (I don’t’ recall if it was birthday, or Christmas, she’ll remind me, I’m sure).

Here we have another project I am working on. I can’t show much yet, because it is a gift long in the making. While I’m pretty certain the recipient doesn’t read this, I don’t wish to let the cat out of the bag. As you can see, I don’t limit myself to yarn work. While it IS my main medium, it’s not my only medium. I believe this project will be the first blog of what will become WIP Wednesday. I’ll be adding more days to the blog. More on that later.

Back to the hat and changes. You can’t tell on this hat, because of Fun Fur, but that cast on is called a tubular cast on. When I first started knitting hats, I did the long tail cast on, because that was what I knew. Then I learned the German twisted cast on, which gave much more stretch, so I used that. I then learned how to do a twisted cast on in knit and purl, so I was able to maintain purls all the way down. In fact, the hat Poopie is wearing in the featured photo has that cast on. And now, I do the tubular cast on. Which is my favorite so far, it has the same tension as the rest of the knitting, and is most like a cohesive fabric to me. So, we change and grow in crafting as well as in life.

Speaking of growing, I’m working on expanding my empire! Buahahahahahaha I think I mentioned initially I have no idea what I’m doing. So, I’m following a writing mantra/belief/saying? One of those words is the right word. As I understand it, the saying goes “better published than perfect”. So, I started blogging without having all the support pieces necessarily in place. I am taking you on my journey of discovery. You can be total hipsters about this blog when I become disgustingly famous. You can keep me humble by reminding me of all the missteps I’ve made.

To that end, I’m going to still only promise one post a week, but I will have different focuses (foci?) for different days. Thursday will be my gallimaufry day. I’m working on a PodPledge Project Page. (I think Chaz made that a tongue twister on purpose). It is also up, but also in process. I’ll be putting the knitted traveling hat up for sale on the merch page, and adding new stuff as I go along. I’ve got a Facebook page as well that I have yet to do anything with. I will also be taking a social media class at Madrona next month. So, yeah, I am expanding, and working. On top of normal every day crap. I have no idea why I do this to myself. Sooo many changes coming up. This is exciting right?

Monday Musings

The life of a Hat

January 23, 2018February 24, 2018 La Tejedora4 Comments

I craft in public. Lately, it’s been knitting…so this story is another knitting story. I promise I do other crafts, it’s just knitting is uber portable for me.

Often, I’ve been told by strangers some variation of “I don’t have the patience to knit”. My response is always the same…I don’t have the patience NOT to knit.

I DO NOT have patience. I can’t stand waiting. My time is valuable, dammit!! However, since beginning crafting, and taking my crafting with me, I’ve been much more chill about having to wait in lines, or waiting rooms. I just make sure I have something portable with me. Take this hat, for example.

The life of the hat often begins on the yarn walls. I’m going to re-use some photos from before to show you. Here you see where it all begins…the Yarn Wall. In the corner, is the Fun Fur. If you look really closely at the photo of the Yarn Wall in the previous post, you will see the yarn in the very lower left hand corner.

The body of the hat actually was in the music room, but was hidden underneath a failed weaving project. See, underneath that cloth is the yarn I used.

I know I can do hats pretty much anywhere, so I had decided to make a new hat be my new carry along project. I wanted to try something different. And I was inspired not only by my yarn wall, but also by talking about my yarn wall. I wondered if maybe I could use the Fun Fur to make the hat look like it had a fur trim??

I tried a couple times to cast on. Oh, yeah, this is why I don’t care for Fun Fur. It’s not really all that fun to work with. So here I am at a ~~bored~~ board meeting. I’m being unnecessarily snarky. Strangers may think I craft because I’m not paying attention. The opposite is true. I actually am better able to focus when crafting. I will discuss that in another post. This is actually the second attempt at casting on. I didn’t like the look and feel of the first time.

Here I am knitting in a bar. Poopie and I were at a friend’s birthday party last weekend. Those ladies in the background were not part of the group. Hat knitting is wonderful for bars. It is small, and I can knit the hat in the dark. Thank all that is holy, because the stupid Fun Fur makes it impossible to see your stitches anyway.

And here it is the next night at a concert at local venue. I have, apparently, a reputation for knitting at concerts. There will often be chairs set aside for me at house shows so I can sit in my corner and knit while listening to live music.

I actually took several more pictures over the week, but my phone ate them before I uploaded them to WordPress…so, my lesson for this post is…save your pictures right away. This hat came with me to stand in line outside of the Old Church in Portland for a general admission show on Tuesday. It also came with me to a City Committee meeting on Thursday. My knitting is also commented upon (I’ll assume positively) as I perform my civic duties.

Remember folks, you need to be involved. If you don’t like how things are going, get involved and change them. If you like how things are going, get involved to keep them going that way.

OK, off my soapbox, and back to my hat. The final trip the hat made with me was to the mountains for a snow weekend.

Here we see me close to getting it off my needles. You will see that while on a snow weekend in a cabin, and playing a tabletop game, I am finding time for knitting.

Turns out, the hat ended up very much as I had hoped. The Faux Fur look worked out, and it adds a stylish touch to an otherwise “boring” beanie. I’m not at all certain it was worth it, but I had the yarn, and was able to experiment. I, personally, wouldn’t buy Fun Fur, even for this, but since I had it, I’m glad I found a use for it.

While I have mentioned lessons and have jumped on my soapbox, the true lesson of this hat and post is that you can find time for crafting. I’ll be talking a lot about how crafting benefits me, and what I get out of it (besides the things I make). But, this is how I do it. Just one stitch at a time. Wherever and whenever I can, I make just one stitch. And then, the next time, I make another stitch. Each stitch is so tiny, it seems inconsequential, but put them all together, and you have a nice, warm, hat.

This Must Be Thursday

I never could get the hang of Thursdays

January 12, 2018January 23, 2018 La Tejedora1 Comment

I love alliteration. Notice Monday Musings? My “plan” (stop laughing, Dear Reader, you probably don’t know me well enough yet to know what a joke that is) is to post once a week. But, I must strike while the iron is hot! And my iron is apparently hot. So…Thursday…what goes with Thursday? I was thinking Thoughtful Thursday (to go with “Musings”)…but, then I remembered my friend wrote a comic in high school called “Thoughtful Man”…I’m already copying one friend (lifeafterwork.site) by doing a blog, I’m not stealing another friend’s thing. Before I go on, let me back up and repeat myself…

HE. WROTE. A. COMIC. IN. HIGH. SCHOOL.

Remember how I said I surround myself with creative people? I wasn’t exaggerating. Also, don’t play Pictionary with him. A: his drawing skillz will make you want to smack him, and B: he gets unreasonably irate when you can guess cemetery from a nine year old’s scribbles, but his highly detailed masterpiece gets him a blank stare.

Thoughtful Thursday isn’t really working for me. Then, I thought maybe Thankful Thursday. Life has kicked me in the proverbial balls lately. Who am I kidding? that’s kind of how my life goes on the regular. But even so, there are lots of things I have to be grateful for, even if I can’t see them in the moment.

I probably won’t stick with Thankful Thursday, but I will tell a story that fits into that theme. And likely any other theme I decide to go with for Thursday.

Last post, I shared how I learned to crochet. People who know me now may be surprised my crafting journey started with crochet. I am, after all, more well known for my knitting. So, this post, I’ll share the start of my knitting journey.

It starts with Concha. She tried not once, but twice, to teach me how to knit. It was awful. First, there was the language barrier. She barely spoke English, and my Spanish was….painful at best. Then, there was the fact that regardless of the love we had for each other, we do NOT work well together. I was also like 13, so…pure spite incarnate. I was probably 15 when we tried again. Communication was easier, and I had probably graduated from being Chaotic Evil to Lawful Evil…but teenagers really are the worst. I remember being so frustrated because the yarn kept slipping off. I was also quite sure there was some trick she just wasn’t telling me.

For those keeping score…yes, we were still working with Red Heart. It was blue, and I believe it was going to be a sweater for Chiqui.

Fast forward to my early twenties. I’m working in a call center. A friend’s wife just started working there. Maria is Spanish, from Spain (how cool is that???). I was crocheting a green and pink Afghan which I remember clearly, but have forgotten who I gave it to… She was knitting, but I don’t remember what because I had only graduated to Chaotic Neutral at that point, and was very centrally focused–on me. We were talking about our relative crafts, and I mentioned my previous attempts at learning (being taught) knitting. It just wasn’t for me.

Oh no! Maria was sure she could teach me. We worked in a call center, so we had spare time between calls. She started me off with a baby blanket. So I got some needles and baby yarn…care to guess what brand???? This time I learned to knit. Still in Spanish. My first blanket had a ribbed edge, and eyelets on the diagonal. Nope, still no pictures. And I don’t remember who that went to. While Concha was knitting Continental (throwing), Maria was knitting English (throwing). I can do both now, but the throwing worked better for me to learn.

The above is not the original blanket. My knitting journey has been a loooooooooooong one. When you had to pay for film and processing, you didn’t take random pictures of random things. At least I didn’t. This is, however, the same brand and colorway of yarn. So, it’s something, right?

Shortly after, my Aunt Beth was having a baby, and wanted a layette. I know how to knit, so she asked me to knit one. I mean, by that time, I had knit like three or four baby blankets–I was practically an expert. So, I went to the craft store, found a booklet, some more baby yarn, and set about starting to knit a baby sweater. !@#$%^&* (cue needle scratch on record)

Have you ever read a pattern???? They are full of nonsense! I mean, what the heck is a knit stitch? and a purl stitch? Remember how I said I learned to knit in Spanish? She never said “this is a knit stitch” she said “do this”. And even if she named the stitches, it’s not like that would have been the same in English as in Spanish. She might as well have named them Laverne and Shirley.

Keep in mind, this was the late 90’s. The internet was barely a thing. I didn’t have access to it. And there certainly weren’t any YouTubes yet. What I had available to learn by were weird drawings (not done by my above-mentioned friend) in the booklet. So, there I sat, with the booklet in my lap, stabbing at yarn (swearing), and then going “wait! I know how to do this!” and then doing it again with the next stitch. Finally, I made my first thing. As far as I know, that sweater was never worn. But, my aunt was thrilled with it. I never let her see what the thing was supposed to look like. That’s a secret to my success. Liberal use of design features. Some may say “never let them see you sweat”. I don’t. I want them to know I worked hard! I say “never let them see the pattern”. That way, they’ll have no choice to believe that the left sleeve was intended to be longer than the right sleeve. It’s a design feature!

So, I’m thankful Concha tried to teach me to knit (twice). And I shared with her before she died that I still knit, and am grateful for all that she did.

I’m thankful that Maria didn’t believe me when I told her it wasn’t my thing. I have since shared with Maria how much that has meant to me as well as let her know that her knitting has been passed on to multiple people. I use her “technique”, but in English, to teach. I’ll tell you about my first pupil at a later date.

I am also thankful that my Aunt Beth didn’t have any doubt I could do the impossible. She usually doesn’t, even now.

I’m sure there is a lesson here, probably something about perseverance. There might also be something in there about striving for more than you think you can achieve. What do I know, I’ve only gotten to be as good as Lawful Neutral, and that only on good days, I’m probably still mostly Chaotic Neutral.

Interestingly enough, I am wearing that shirt as we speak…and I didn’t plan it.

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